Eye drops. Just no.

Fun fact peeps, my eyesight has been getting continually worse recently. Honestly I’m not sure if it’s actually happening or if it’s a mental thing but I went for a check up over break anyways. It was great, except for the eye drops.

Let me back up. I don’t like eye drops, it’s not that they hurt or anything but I just freak out a little when they have to get put in. And by a little, I mean that usually my sister sits on my right arm while my brother pins my legs and my mom hold down my left arm and proceeds to begin the process of the torture I like to call “making it rain pain in my eye.” You get the picture, I’ve always really struggled with eye drops.

            Anyways back to the doctors office. So I get this nice Asian doctor and she’s wearing this “ugly Christmas sweater” and she’s smiling and at once I’m like “Oh, she’s a nice lady”. We do some eye stuff and I’m thinking this is going great. Then she says the kicker, “I’m going to put some eye drops in your eyes” and I stare at her and then start mentally preparing myself.

“You’ve got this Em.”

“No”

“It’s just a drop…..of some liquid….in your eye, it’ll be fine.”

“No”

“You’re almost 21 years old, get a hold of yourself.”

“No….nononononononono”

“I’m probably going to accidently hit this nice lady, except she’s putting eye drops in my eyes so how nice can she be?”

“She’s not a nice lady”

So finally I sort of settle myself and I’m all prepared and right before she puts the drop in my eye she goes “This will probably burn a bit.” Now this didn’t alarm me as much as it should have. I was thinking that all eye drops burned a bit, but then she dropped the medicine in my eye. Except it wasn’t medicine, it was probably fire or maybe even acid.  She just kept talking to me, like she hadn’t just ruined my vision forever, like my eye wasn’t burning out of it’s socket and acid wasn’t about to eat its way through my eye and into my brain. While my eye sockets were shooting flames and most likely burning the building down, I sat in this chair, a grown woman, fighting the urge to cry, even though I probably just would’ve cried acid which could’ve been cool as long as it didn’t burn my face off. I had been so wrong about this lady, she wasn’t nice, I bet she wasn’t even Asian. (Okay, she was very much Asian and she actually was a very nice lady even if she set me back in any of the progress I had made with eye drops.) But still, my eyes were BURNING. The burning subsided, we did some tests, and then she told me I had to let my eyes readjust. So I was stuck in this chamber of darkness for a very long time (Fifteen minutes is a very long time to be in a dark room with those eye drops just sitting there on the table) Let me tell you, unless I'm supposed to sleep I do very badly in dark rooms all by myself. So I was sitting there, and the burning was gone but when I tried to look at my phone I got a massive headache and couldn't see anything which lead me to the irrefutable conclusion that I probably was getting x-ray vision like Superman (you know you're all jealous) 

Eventually my vision came back and I was given a prescription (Which I’m not using…sooo if you cross the road and I don’t see you….actually you probably just shouldn’t cross the road when I’m driving, maybe just stay away from roads, safest bet would be to just stay inside) But I leave you all with this warning. Those are the devil’s eye drops. Don’t do it. Just…. No. Also. I’m not wearing glasses so don’t be around me when I’m driving anything that has the capacity to potentially maim you.

Peace

Em